at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
