Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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