I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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