I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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