my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
