I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
