he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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