you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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