He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I still have a little drunk in my system
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
