One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
In America we eat man semen.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
