Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
