Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
