roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
