I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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