i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
