i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
