i think i have herpe
just one?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
