i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
