Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
