wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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