If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
