i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
