O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
