are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
