sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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