I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
