He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
