i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
