The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
