I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
