The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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