I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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