and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
