idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
