Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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