remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
