My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm always down for nudity.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
