I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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