Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
