he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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