On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just high enough for therapy.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize