I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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