I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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