Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
