I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
