Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
