they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
