fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
