I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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