I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
