Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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